


The Blue Spirit

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Sokka (Avatar), Swearing, Teenage Dorks, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-08 06:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "i like your lil' ninja get up, very cute." "you always think i'm cute." "you got me there."ஃ au. zuko running around being the blue spirit and saving the gaang's asses all the time. sokka thinks he looks very cute in his ninja outfit.





	1. .00.

. 00 .

I found him again. In Ba Sing Sei. I found his bison, actually. But I knew Aang would be here too. I knew what I had to do. But what if they won't let me? How can I show them that I'm different now? I don't know. I couldn't ask uncle, he wouldn't understand. I know they hate me. I would hate me too if I were them. I guess I do hate me. But for different reasons. They deserve to hate me. Everyone does. Aang does need me though. As much as he'd disagree. He doesn't have a fire bender to teach him. I know that because I heard Zhao brag about killing his only hope at one. 

It's been so long since I've seen them. I tried to have a normal life. I even went on a date, for gods' sake. I worked at a tea shop. How much humbler can I be? I gave up on the Avatar. Azula was right, father wouldn't take me back. Even if I did capture the Avatar. I was a mistake. A disgrace. It makes sense that I travel with uncle Iroh now. Two traitors. And we've made a living together. How perfect. If Azula saw me now... I would be a laughingstock. Even more than I am now. 

That's why I have to change. I have to help Aang. He can't defeat my father with only three elements, especially when he's missing out on my father's native element. Fire, especially when born from anger, can defeat all elements.

This isn't going to be easy. But I have a plan. 


	2. .01.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zuko ):

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry theres so many time skips, can't write fluently to save my life,, yikes

. 01 .

I packed my bag with such haste I’ve never seen in myself before. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I dragged a dusty, old box from under my bed. Lifting the lid, I sighed. If Iroh knew what I was, he would be furious. I grabbed my mask and tied it behind my head.

I was the Blue Spirit. The bane of the Fire Nation’s existence. Ironic, you could say. But I started all of this for them. I did this for my father. For my honor. But now, I’m choosing a new path. Now, I’m going to help the Avatar bring down the Fire Lord, Ozai. It was a stupid idea. But I always make stupid decisions. So, it makes sense, I guess.

My swords lay on my back, my bag across my shoulder. I walked to my uncle’s bedside and looked down upon him. Iroh truly was my rock. I don’t know if I would still be alive if not for him. I wouldn’t be who am I today, I know that. He’s helped me in more ways than one. He was my teacher, my healer, my father of choice. He’s raised me better than Ozai ever could. I put the piece of parchment I was holding on his bedside table. I couldn’t say goodbye in person. I only hope he can forgive me for leaving. But I’m sure he would be proud. He always was. I’m making my own destiny. I’m chasing my own honor. After all, what’s honor if it’s risking the greater good.

I turned my back to my uncle. I sighed and readjusted my bag. And then I left.

. . . .

My feet were aching, and I only just left the outer wall of Ba Sing Sei. I didn’t know how I was going to find the Avatar. They left only moments before me but flying is a lot faster than running. I looked up at the night sky. Something Iroh told me. The night sky and all of its constellations. It’s humbling. I needed all of the humbling I could get my hands on.

Looking back down, I saw a tuft of white hair, snagged on a tree branch. The bison. What was its name? Abba? Whatever it was, the beast just saved me. I grabbed the fur and shoved it in my pocket, scanning the area for any more clues. But there was nothing. My first set back. Guess I just had to start walking.

My stomach grumbled. Why didn’t I grab some food before I left? I didn’t even have to pay for anything. I swallowed my own saliva in hopes to quench my dry throat. I just have to walk. The next town will have food I can take. But how long until I get there? And will the Avatar even be there?

Smoke caught my eye in the distance. Azula. She was here, or so I heard. That must be her tanks. She was trying to capture the Avatar. I guess I found what I had to follow. I was always in the shadow of Azula. But now, I’m not so mad about it. She’s allowing me to do good. Or, try to do good at least.

. . . .

The next town over appeared on my horizon. I squinted my eyes and shielded with my hand. The sun was glaring down on the Earth kingdom. Azula’s smoke was further than the town, but I figured I could stop for one night. My legs were numb, and I felt I was about to collapse. As I got closer, I could smell the fried dough famed by the Earth citizens. I had no money, but that never stopped me before.

As night grew closer, the town did too. I pulled my hood up to cover my scar as I slipped between houses. Tying my mask, I scanned the back streets.

My eyes met with those of a frail old man, carrying two large baskets of food, and my hand met my swords. I lurched forward, slicing the basket ties, and hooking them with the blades. The old man gasped in shock but did not scream, much to my delight.

“Who are you?” He questioned, in a hushed tone.

But I did not answer. I ran.

. . . .

An abandoned house became my refuge for the night. Burnt wood surrounded a burnt door. The Fire Nation. But it was fresh. Must have been Azula. I began to wonder who’s house I was in, but my body was aching for rest as I could barely keep my eyes open.

As I lay down, my mind drifted to the Avatar. Where could he be? And how was Azula so much better at finding him than I was? I prayed she didn’t find him first. Or that he could best her in a fight. But I doubted it. Azula was always better than anyone I knew. Better than my own mother when she was just eight years old. It wasn’t fair. ‘Azula is a prodigy’ my father would say. Azula was born lucky, I was lucky to be born. He loved that one. I was the black sheep of the family. A disgrace to my father. An easy target for Azula and her friends. But my mother loved me. Or so I thought. But she left me in the hands of a monster. An angry, abusive monster. I couldn’t help but be angry at her. Azula told me she left to protect me. But that doesn’t make sense, and Azula’s always been a perfect liar.

I rolled on my side and scrunched my eyes up. I could feel tears pressing at my eyelids, but I hated crying. I hated seeming weak. I bit my lip hard to distract myself from my feelings; to feel something other than sadness. I began to regret my decision of leaving, as I lay in silence and loneliness. Uncle would know what to do with me; he would make me tea, sit with me, talk about anything else in the world to get my mind off of my family. I wish I could talk to him, one last time. I wish I had the guts to say goodbye, to hug him, to tell him how much he means to me, but I was too stupid and caught up in my own insecurities.

The moon grew higher in the sky and my eyes grew heavier. I lulled myself to sleep, trying to ignore the burning hole in my heart.


	3. .02.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is a tad longer bc dialogue is easier to write than thoughts lol

. 02 .

I rose with the sun. Cleaning my face of any evidence of my sorrows the night before, I sighed at myself in the mirror. My hair had gotten even longer, tickling my eyelids now. I pushed it off of my forehead and grimaced. I couldn’t believe I used to wear it back in that stupid ponytail, my scar of shame on full display. Now, at least, it was partially covered. But when I fought it got in my eyes, and it was getting hotter. I should cut it soon, I thought. But I had bigger things to worry about than vanity.

I cleared any evidence that I had slept in the abandoned house and made my way out of the town, in hopes of beating the villagers and the attention. Fire Nation banners were strung at every entry and exit, but to my luck, no soldiers. Azula’s smoke was closer than it was yesterday; she must have stopped for the night as well. I began my walk, despite my legs not being fully awake yet. As I ventured into the approaching forest, I snacked on an apple. I was used to more, for breakfast, but my time as a refugee with uncle prepared me for occasions like this. 

I furrowed my brow at a familiar sight in front of me. White fluff. The bison. I really owed them the curtesy of learning its name. But the fluff was a good sign. Perhaps they were hiding from Azula in the forest, trying to throw her off their trail. It wouldn’t work, I thought, but I hoped it did. This would be a perfect opportunity to find them.  
I looked around for more fluff, and compared to my predictable, shitty luck the day before, I found more, about 5 meters from where I stood. I ran to it, grabbing it off of the tree and shoving it in my pocket. I couldn’t risk leaving the fluff I found, in case Azula had to do some back tracking and found it. More was ahead of me, creating a perfect trail that led deeper into the woods. I prayed it wasn’t a trap, and it really was just the beast’s shed. 

All was well as I followed the trail. But me being me, my luck was bound to change. A trip wire. I stumbled forward, launching my half-eaten apple. I was swept up in a net and cursed myself. I wriggled around, trying to reach for my swords, but my arms were stuck under my torso. I sighed and looked down at the ground beneath me, and met with a familiar set of icy, blue eyes. 

“Zuko?” It was Sokka. “Oh my god, I caught Prince Jerkbender!” He shrieked, throwing his arms above his head. “This trap was supposed to be for my dinner, but this is a much better catch. Wait, that sounds kinda gay…”

“Fuck,” I whispered to myself, praying to all the spirits above me that I was still dreaming and back in that stupid Earth Kingdom village. 

“This is perfect, Katara is gonna love this!” Sokka laughed to himself. He reached up and poked me with the blunt edge of his club, smirking all the while. 

I sighed and closed my eyes, deciding that I had a better chance at talking to Aang in a situation like this, than if I was trying to find them on my own. 

. . . .

I bumped my head on tree roots multiple times as Sokka dragged me along the ground, back to his camp. I was too heavy, he claimed. But that was a stupid excuse, he just wanted me to suffer. As he walked, and I was… dragged, he sang stupid Water Tribe songs, very loudly and very off-tune. I pursed my lips, fighting back the urge to yell at him and tell him to shut his mouth. I was trying to be on their side, and if I was successful, I would have to learn to be nice, and to put up with this annoying little person. 

“Y’know Zuko, I like this little black number you got going on much better than that stupid red shit.” I scrunched my face up at his unexpected comment. “You look much more suspicious.”

I didn’t reply and I guess he picked up some type of hint and decided not to say anything else for the rest of the trip. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself back at Ba Sing Sei, with uncle. Where I was warm, and comfortable, and didn’t have to think about the Avatar. 

. . . .

I threw my eyes open when I was slung forwards, my stomach lurching. I rolled once or twice and stopped, face up. I met eyes, familiar to those of my captor, but much, much angrier. 

“What is this?” Katara grumbled, looking at Sokka with confusion. I supposed wondering why on earth her brother thought to bring the person who’d been hunting them for the past year to their camp. 

“Its Zuko, don’t you remember? I mean, he does look a bit different with normal people hair, but I think the scar’s a dead give-away.”

“I can see that, but why is he here, Sokka?” She sighed. Sokka explained the events in the forest, trying his best to reason his decision behind bringing me here. I don’t blame Katara for hating me. I threated her elders, Yon Rha killed her mother, my father’s fighting her own. 

I decided it was best that I stayed quiet, and to bide my time. But I grew increasingly more uncomfortable as I felt someone staring at me. I shuffled around, or tried to at least, until Sokka’s foot slammed into by back, pinning me down.

“Shit, he’s moving!” Sokka shrieked again, stomping on me a few times for good measures. I let out a long groan, to which Aang spoke up. 

“Sokka, don’t hurt him, he’s got enough bruises from you dragging him back here.” I guessed repeatedly hitting your head on roots was bound to leave some marks, but Aang was sitting no where near me. How could he know that?

“Aang. Dude. He’s been trying to kill you for a whole year now. I think I have every right to stomp on him if he’s moving. I only dragged him ‘cause I was trying to knock him out!” Right. I guessed he didn’t want to say that to me before, opting to insult me instead. 

“He’s still a person. And I have a feeling he’s out of his Fire Nation clothes and by himself for a reason.” I smiled. Only just. I could understand why Aang was the Avatar and not some brick head like Sokka.

“Whatever reason he has, you shouldn’t have brought him here,” Katara chimed in. “He’s still the enemy and I, for sure, am not going to believe this change of heart makeover.”

“I never said he had a change of heart, Katara.” But I did. Perfect time to plead your case, I thought, and swallowed hard. 

“I—I did have a change of heart… I guess,” I mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. “I want to help Aang. I’m a firebender and he needs someone to teach him. I’m a different person now. I want to help you guys end the war, I want to do good, for once.”

Katara snorted, covering her mouth and Sokka couldn’t help but laugh too. Great. 

“No way. But I guess he’d be fun to practice on, right?” Katara giggled at her own suggestion. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a breathy sigh. This was going horribly.

“I think we should give him a chance.” A voice I didn’t recognize. “I mean, I can tell when people are lying, and this guy feels pretty damn sincere.”

Feel…?

“Toph. No way. No way in all of the underworlds are we going to let Prince Jerkbending anywhere near Aang, especially not with fire,” Sokka said, rolling his eyes so far into his head, I thought they would stay there. 

“Whatever, you guys are so close minded.” And then I picked it. Toph Beifong. What the hell was a little blind girl doing travelling with these idiots. Unless… she was an earthbender. That would make sense. 

“Look, just leave him tied up and we’ll figure out somewhere to put him later.” I sighed at Katara’s comment and closed my eyes again. This was going to suck.


	4. .03.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some mild happy in the forest i guess (:

**. 03 .**

My wrists ached against the rope tied tight around them. I was hungry and thirsty and so unbelievably uncomfortable. I groaned, unwillingly as I was pulled up by my hands. I came face to face with Katara and swallowed nervously. Her glare was more ferocious than I had ever seen it before. I looked at her hands and eyed the small dagger in the right. My mouth went dry. But before my mind could wonder about what in the world she was going to do to me, she reluctantly reached her hand out, just to the side of me. Sokka took the knife from her and before I knew it the rope was sliced off of my wrists. I brought my hands in front of me and rubbed at the chafed skin.

“What’s going on? What are you doing?” I thought out loud. Katara just rolled her eyes and walked away, sitting next to Aang with a huff.

“We’re gonna let you go, just leave us alone alright? Go find your uncle or whatever,” Sokka mumbled, still standing behind me. I was awestruck. I looked around the camp, confusion written plain as day on my face. Katara was grumbling quietly to Aang, eyebrows furrowed and mouth tight. Aang looked just as confused as I did. Toph was smiling at the ground, sitting not too far from her friends. I turned to look at Sokka who was staring at me with so many emotions, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“W—What? Why?” I stuttered out. “Aren’t you gonna hurt me? Or kill me? Why are you letting me go?”

“Because some people know the meaning of mercy, asshole. Just get out of here,” Katara spat, throwing my bag at me.

I didn’t turn to catch it in time and almost all of my belongings tumbled out of it, thankfully, not the most important one. I heard Sokka sigh and he bent down, grabbing what he could and shoving it back in the bag. I leant down too, fumbling over everything I touched, too shaken up with what’s going on to grasp the task at hand. Sokka just watched me as my hands slipped over several pieces of fruit, stifling a laugh as I dropped them all back on the ground. He swatted my hands out of the way and grabbed them, easing them back in my bag with a touch softer than he had with everything else. I lifted my head to look him in the eye, but he had stood up and all I saw was his hand stretched out to lift me up. Flushed, I allowed myself to be pulled to my feet, and I stumbled slightly at Sokka’s strength. He smiled at me and motioned over his shoulder his head, silently telling me to follow suit.

He turned from the camp, muttering about how he’d be back and walked back out of the clearing and into the trees. My legs stuttered to catch up to him but soon we were walking side by side, and the only sound was him whistling quietly.

“Why are you doing this?” I found myself asking. Sokka seemed startled by the sudden question but pursed his lips and sighed.

“Letting you go, or walking with you now?” He returned, his voice was soft and friendly, a gesture I couldn’t grasp.

“Both, I guess… just doesn’t make much sense.” Which was true. It made zero sense that they let me go, and even less sense that Sokka was being weirdly nice and, dare I say, pleasant?

“We let you go because we can’t have you with us, but no one wants to kill you, except Katara maybe… and I guess I’m walking with you right now because…” He trailed off, and stopped walking, looking up at the stars through the trees. “I don’t know actually. It just felt like what I had to do.”

He looked at me with a dopey smile and I felt my stomach lurch. After everything I did to this guy, the hurt I’ve caused him, he wants to walk me through the forest back to safety, because it’s the right thing to do. Spirits, I guess I was really bad at being good. But I nodded, nonetheless, and decided not to question him any further. We kept walking and soon we reached a smaller, more familiar clearing. I looked at the leaves, shaken up on the ground.

“That was a damn fine trap,” Sokka commented, admiring his own handy work.

“You did catch me by surprise. No one’s ever done that before,” I replied quietly. Sokka laughed softly and turned to face me.

“I’m honored.” I smiled in return. His mouth hanging open and eyes wide was not the response I had suspected. “Did you just smile at me? What the fuck is going on today?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, which seemingly broke through Sokka’s act because he smiled back at me. He walked closer and put his hand on my shoulder, a silent goodbye, and handed me my sheathed Dao. I didn’t even realize he was carrying them. He gave me one last smile and walked back the way we came, leaving me exactly where he found me. Alone.

I sighed as I watch him leave, his footsteps getting quieter and quieter. I failed, I thought to myself, with a pang of disappointment in my chest. No wonder father kicked me out. He gave me an impossible task, and now I have a new goal, one I decided for myself, and I couldn’t even do that. I understood why he was always so frustrated by me. Embarrassed by me. It hurt to think about but now I got it, I got why I had to leave. Him and uncle. I can’t be bad, but I can’t be good. I was nothing.

. . . .

When I woke up, I shivered. It was still dark out, but small rays of sun were pushing past the horizon, or what I could see of it through the trees. I sat up, the cold breeze whipping my face. I blew small, soft flames at my hands, trying to warm them up. Semi-satisfied I stood, grabbing my bag and rummaging to pick a fruit to eat, but they were mostly bruised. I grabbed an orange, regardless, and pulled a small tanto out from my pocket to slice the skin. I began to walk in the direction I came with Sokka, slowly and quietly. I was mulling over how I was going to get them to trust me, until one thought came to mind. The Blue Spirit. With the mask, they wouldn’t recognize me. That’s how I could help them, by being someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who's left comments, it's greatly appreciated!!

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know if this is something people want me to continue!! also very happy to add other ships in (:


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